Many times in our lives, we throw the towel in or just pour cold waters on the things that are not working out as planned. We face heaps of hopelessness and impatience one after the other. There are unshakable peaks and valleys. We see no light at the end of the tunnel. So we end up losing faith. The same story when I started to read the Bible. I fervently tried but I didn’t know where and how to begin so I almost closed the door prematurely. Nearly but not entirely. I was at the brink of halting the doorway without even contemplating that I’m shutting down God who was humbly knocking His way to my heart. Manna from heaven, I didn’t find compelling reasons to give up, thus my journey isn’t over yet. I received the unrestricted freedom from doubting myself and to believe in God’s purpose.
This is similar when we fail to keep in mind that God is only working on so many diversions when we appeal something to him. But it’s not an avoidance or abandonment, He’s enabling us to remain hopeful, to branch out and grow. It’s the works of God. In John 13:7 Jesus replied, “You do not realise now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” In reality, things are just happening behind the scenes but we selectively refuse to trust his timing and process. That’s God’s plot twist. Even though everything seems like it’s falling apart, it is actually falling into place. Yet we fail to remain forbearing and we lose ourselves on the right direction and slip away. We deny to see that we can get past through this. I have been there for the most parts of my life. I was too busy worrying about nothing.
This is the story behind my love-hate relationship with the Bible. To clear my conscience, I do not or did not hate the Bible. I hated myself. In my attempt to start reading the Scripture, I can sometimes be so familiar with the words on the page that I read, but I didn’t really understand 8 out of 10 parts of it, truth be told. Forgive me, Father for being weak-minded on this matter. I immediately felt a disappointing and frustrating beginning. I thought I will never be optimistic. I could read it but it will never make sense. I will not get the message. But let me try to add a bit of faith on my self potential. For there was one thing I wasn’t doubtful – the Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John focus on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Right? They all have unique emphasis and concentration on the life of Jesus. If I was right, I am owing someone a debt of gratitude for giving and keeping this ideology back in my school days. At the very least, becoming familiar with some parts of the Bible gives me the building blocks to know him in a deeper way.
I also learned that the Bible teaches us to know God and His will for our lives. However, there is a huge difference between knowing about God and personally knowing God. Everyone knows God. And I am one of those who’s personally longing to know more about God. The challenge was, the Bible is not like any other books I have read. Reading the Bible isn’t necessarily meant to be read from front to back. From book of Genesis to the book of Revelation. When you get right down to it, the Bible is real life library. An open space in a peaceful world. Many of the books or parts of the Bible are written in a variety of different genres or types of literature like poetry, prophecy or historical narrative. I have come to learn that trying to read straight through without a careful plan can become so frustrating and intimidating because I didn’t know how these books and their literary genres work together.
One verse of Jeremiah was my revelation and eye opener of deeply knowing the Bible. Jeremiah 29:11 has reminded me of God’s precious promise, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. There is no better way to show our trust in God than to believe that He is control of everything and moreover, He has good things in store. Be still and know that you have God. But we must learn that this verse should not be taken completely out of context. Perhaps one of the most loved verses, yet the most misunderstood and misapplied in the entire Scripture. Fundamentally, one reason why I felt that the Bible can sometimes become quite complicated and overwhelming. The verse is not meant as a blanket promise of worldly blessing. It is a perfect example of a prophecy where we first need to understand who God is talking to. As I try to learn and fully get the picture of what the scripture says, I am comforted that this passage is not directed to me alone – it’s for the entire nation.
In Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Presumably a good proclamation how my journey began to ignite. Even if my heart has been wounded and afflicted in so many ways, I will forever treasure God’s words in this chamber that’s made to last. Bear in mind that knowing God’s word is not just for the sake of doing it. The living word is active in the lives of those who receive it. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only. If we keep the Word of God in our hearts, we build a safekeeping vault of powerful weapons to defend against temptations, the flesh and the world. I understand that it takes time and prayerful attention to observe correct biblical interpretation and application. And I know my journey has just started so I always ask and pray to God to teach and guide me so that I will become even more faithful in following Him. It’s a long way to go. I know I am still making my way through the Scripture. But here and now, I’m glad that I didn’t close doors and I kept it open so that others can come with me too. I’m grateful I remained thirsty, patient and willing to discover the grace, salvation, and wisdom that only come from immersing myself in God’s Word. This journey is by far the best journeys I have chosen to take. Please make it yours too.
Matthew 4:4 “For man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out through the mouth of God.”
The Untold Roaming Spirit 