God’s Time is Always Perfect

When the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen. Isaiah 60:20

It is brief but there’s so much meaning we can develop and translate in this verse. We can make our own train of thoughts or personal interpretation based on our own experiences or current circumstances. But God is telling us that His timing is never early, never late, it will always be perfect, even when our trust in it is not.

I didn’t prepare myself to write something this wee hours. As a matter of fact, never have I always planned to pen my thoughts. But as I see it, God is always and once again fueled me with wisdom and the Holy Spirit influenced me to administer the words of God through my hands. He always makes things come to pass. He knows when time is always right. And today, while I decide to calm my eyes and inner self gazing at the dark sky, doubtful yet hopeful that rain won’t fall hard again, a message remarkably made into my phone notes and found itself calling my attention through an unexpected notification. I didn’t see this coming. I didn’t even recall putting or writing the message there. God is conversing with me once again. I find this so heart-stirring and intimate. That me and God is inseparable. And I will long for more intimacy and thirst for His words even more. A short message but of great significance and high spirits. Not my time. I want God’s. But when do we know if the time is right? When do we know if God will make things happen?

While we are in a challenging time, all of us just want this to be over as soon as possible. Like a bullet out of a gun. Or we can hope that when we wake up tomorrow, everything was just an unpleasant dream. If it doesn’t happen overnight, perhaps the same point in time when I’m awakened and finally realised that I’m no longer scared and hurting. It may progress slowly but it does happen in God’s time. Things will get better but it’s not instant and it’s not a straight line. But sometimes, the last thing we would ever want to do is waiting. We lose patience and dismiss to wait in anticipation for something to happen or occur. And I have said many times how I accepted defeat and abandoned my hopes because I got tired of waiting. I was so tired of hoping and anticipating of getting an answer. Like why would I even wait when some people are too quick and easy to give up on me? I felt discouraged to deny or be denied because I had misgivings of God’s timing. For all that I didn’t get what I prayed and asked, I just rebuke that God doesn’t love or care about me. I felt like my time is never synched or coincident with God’s time. I have been hard-pressing myself of dwelling when will I get an answer or if I will even get an answer. I questioned God when will He allow me forget the past and move on with the future. If when will God stop the rain from falling so I could start running to see if that person is still waiting for me at the river crossing. I doubted God if he will allow me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I faltered God’s plans to help me overcome my negative thoughts especially fear, anxiety, resentment, and grief. But God didn’t disappoint, He didn’t fail me. Because undoubtedly, when the time is right and we trust Him, the Lord will make it happen.

Habakkuk 2:3 “For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” Just because something is not taking place, doesn’t mean it will never happen. If things have stopped, it doesn’t mean it’s the end. If they pushed you away, someday, somehow, someone will catch or lay hands on you. We tend to feel that our prayers and cries are not being heard by God because we are not seeing an immediate change in our relationships and existing conditions. We feel that our expectations are not being met. We set the bar high and we fail to see the efforts of others because we seek for sudden transformation and conversion. This oftentimes breaks our connection and covenant with God. We forget that we should always put our trust in Him. And not to fall back on our own intentions and on what other people say. Remember His way, His will, His time. God never turns his back or leaves us high and dry when times seem to stand still. He has not let us stay on a point of struggle or the possibility of not winning but rather God is staging us in the present so we may prepare ourselves for the upcoming season. Not a chance that God never hears what our hearts desire. Not in the slightest opportunity that God is not aware of our needs. Trust me, He always does. He knows and hears everything. I don’t know exactly how or when but there’s only one thing I am sure of, God always stays true to His Word. And I can give you a collection of never ending testimonies how God’s timing has always gone unfailing and perfect.

God is patient with us and in return we should be patient with Him and to others. It is always easy to compare ourselves to others why they are being noticed by God but not us. That God hears their cries but not ours. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”. God never promised that our lives on earth will be easy. He never said that our mission and journey will be unchallenging and easily done. But he reminded us that there is time and season for everything. God also teaches us to wait quietly not just to wait patiently. And oftentimes, it is even more difficult to wait quietly than to wait patiently. Even a good and loving relationship requires a degree of patience and understanding. It’s bound to not easily give up with one another. When we patiently wait for God’s promises, we will definitely get fulfilled and rewarded. When we seek Him with a quieted soul, we can hear the whispers of His goodness around us. The Lord has boldly spoken, when the time is right, I will make it happen. If you find yourself today not liking the situation you are in or where certain events in your life have taken you, I encourage you to dive into the Scriptures and let God do the talking. The only way we can trust in God’s timing is through spending more time with Him, allowing His word to shape our hearts and to bend our knees before Him.

The Rain Has Fallen

I love rain.

I even count the days until rainy season gracefully comes forth. There’s melancholy and solitude whenever I hear the rhythm of the falling rain and thunder. I have always found the rain very calming. The coldness it fulfills gives me a play of emotions and a look back when my mom used to snuggle my tiny flesh when I was little. The smell of the rain yields a connection how the grounds or dry lands has long-desired what the heavens has sent. God sends rain as part of his blessing to all people. It’s a common grace and goodness, both for the saved and the unsaved. As written in Psalm 147:8, ‘He covers the heavens with clouds; he prepares rain for the earth; he makes grass grow on the hills.’ It is God who causes to rain or not to rain. It is God who set the heavens in place, it is God who causes the mountain to grow grass. God is in control of everything. The rain is the love of sky for earth. They don’t meet face to face but sends genuine love this way. I also relish watching how a raindrop clings to a weak leaf and eventually slips downward, takes a fall because the leaf can no longer uphold the droplet. It’s like an expression of trust and courage. A strength to carry on in spite of danger. Whenever rain comes, I let the rain kiss me. I allow it to tap upon my head with silver liquid drops. It’s God-given. It makes me feel good inside.

But time and again, rain amounts to being sullen. Our lives may become cloudy and we battle with inner disturbances. There are days when we experience darkness. We become thin papers that tears and breaks after we’re soaked and washed away. And then we get stale and we deteriorate. Oftentimes, we see rain as an upcoming storm. It can be gruesome. Too much, we drown. To little, we thirst. It also represents a sense of foreboding, exemplifying human tears. In essence, it is the also the heavens that allow us to experience this, it delivers us to trials. We go through mental and emotional torment or feeling of resentment. Jeremiah 14:22 tells us, ‘Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is you, Lord our God. Therefore our hope is in you, for you are the one who does all this.’ God sends rain but still reminds us to see his grace and set our eyes to the good even during darkness and trials. He uses trials for His glory and uses rain for us to grow.

The sterling drops of rain implies how the sky has first turned dark before a downpour of clear waters. But the rain is the only way to get dark clouds to go away. It’s a perfect manifestation that we should keep moving, to turn over a new leaf and blossom in time. It is God’s testimony that hopes are in full bloom. As the wise saying goes, April showers bring May flowers. And Leviticus 26:4 says, ‘I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees their fruit.’ Rain is referred to as a blessing after a drought. It reminds me of the moment I asked God to help me grow. And then it started raining.

I used to love rain.

I thought I couldn’t unlove you. But it has finally come to an end after a weighty awakening and ample opportunities of waiting. The rain has washed away the thoughts inside. I will now just be, I used to love the rain. Not because I no longer long for God’s blessings but I will start living through all His favour, grace and protection. Acceptance of something undesirable but inevitable is now bending forward. I harbour prejudice with the warmth of the sun but things have changed. The sun rises everyday and this time, I promise to lay my eyes on it and accept gladly the golden rays it brings. The rain that I used to ardently await will now be reversed into something that I now despise to anticipate. I will now stop longing for the rain to come. The euphony of the rain and thunder shall now be disconnected and separated from everything I used to imagine. Rain now makes me fear the future and even brings irrational anguish. I used to look upon the rain as the bravest thing God has ever created. They aren’t afraid to fall. But nothing feels braver if you aren’t afraid of anything as God is with us always. My love and resemblance with the rain has finally come to an end. You are not brave if you’re scared of what tomorrow brings. I shall welcome and accept new trials and fighting chances because God will walk with me unfailingly. There were times when I earnestly pray and yearn for someone or something to a great degree. Days and opportunities that I say no to end. Yet again, if truth be told, things will now be different. I will finally stop building castles in the air. I used to love it. I used to cherish every amount of time until my eyes are opened, I have been unfavourably holding on to undivided purpose and missing the whole idea of what the warmth of the sun also brings.

I am not looking forward for the rain to fall again. I will chase for unfamiliar things to count on and give myself of what I genuinely deserve. The chances were amenable but they were abandoned and were given little to no attention. I guess that’s my inescapable fate. I have lost hope. Tiny raindrops didn’t fall from the sky, but it has fallen from my eyes. God keeps track of all my tears. And has collected them in His bottle, as written Psalm 56:8. But I am convinced that there are still plenty of others that it’ll fulfill happiness and euphoria when the rain is around. That’s of greater importance to me now. I will be constantly filled with gratitude for all the wonderful days you left me. In days gone by, when the rain comes I come out happily and play under. But things being what they are, I now stop and run for shade. I’m seated at this moment watching the rain that has fallen. But I’m no longer euphoric. I’m no longer burning with excitement. I’m longing for the the sun to come out and the rain to stop. I have lost the soft spot and extreme yearning for the rain to come again. The sun after the rain is much beautiful than the sun before the rain. It will now be down the memory lane. Hopes that the sun will always come out. The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Eventually.

You’ve been a rainbow. Thank you for the great days and the times you made my heart and life meaningful and colourful.

2 Samuel 23:4 ‘And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun rises, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain.’

My Journey to the Living Word of God

Many times in our lives, we throw the towel in or just pour cold waters on the things that are not working out as planned. We face heaps of hopelessness and impatience one after the other. There are unshakable peaks and valleys. We see no light at the end of the tunnel. So we end up losing faith. The same story when I started to read the Bible. I fervently tried but I didn’t know where and how to begin so I almost closed the door prematurely. Nearly but not entirely. I was at the brink of halting the doorway without even contemplating that I’m shutting down God who was humbly knocking His way to my heart. Manna from heaven, I didn’t find compelling reasons to give up, thus my journey isn’t over yet. I received the unrestricted freedom from doubting myself and to believe in God’s purpose.

This is similar when we fail to keep in mind that God is only working on so many diversions when we appeal something to him. But it’s not an avoidance or abandonment, He’s enabling us to remain hopeful, to branch out and grow. It’s the works of God. In John 13:7 Jesus replied, “You do not realise now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” In reality, things are just happening behind the scenes but we selectively refuse to trust his timing and process. That’s God’s plot twist. Even though everything seems like it’s falling apart, it is actually falling into place. Yet we fail to remain forbearing and we lose ourselves on the right direction and slip away. We deny to see that we can get past through this. I have been there for the most parts of my life. I was too busy worrying about nothing.

This is the story behind my love-hate relationship with the Bible. To clear my conscience, I do not or did not hate the Bible. I hated myself. In my attempt to start reading the Scripture, I can sometimes be so familiar with the words on the page that I read, but I didn’t really understand 8 out of 10 parts of it, truth be told. Forgive me, Father for being weak-minded on this matter. I immediately felt a disappointing and frustrating beginning. I thought I will never be optimistic. I could read it but it will never make sense. I will not get the message. But let me try to add a bit of faith on my self potential. For there was one thing I wasn’t doubtful – the Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John focus on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Right? They all have unique emphasis and concentration on the life of Jesus. If I was right, I am owing someone a debt of gratitude for giving and keeping this ideology back in my school days. At the very least, becoming familiar with some parts of the Bible gives me the building blocks to know him in a deeper way.

I also learned that the Bible teaches us to know God and His will for our lives. However, there is a huge difference between knowing about God and personally knowing God. Everyone knows God. And I am one of those who’s personally longing to know more about God. The challenge was, the Bible is not like any other books I have read. Reading the Bible isn’t necessarily meant to be read from front to back. From book of Genesis to the book of Revelation. When you get right down to it, the Bible is real life library. An open space in a peaceful world. Many of the books or parts of the Bible are written in a variety of different genres or types of literature like poetry, prophecy or historical narrative. I have come to learn that trying to read straight through without a careful plan can become so frustrating and intimidating because I didn’t know how these books and their literary genres work together.

One verse of Jeremiah was my revelation and eye opener of deeply knowing the Bible. Jeremiah 29:11 has reminded me of God’s precious promise, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. There is no better way to show our trust in God than to believe that He is control of everything and moreover, He has good things in store. Be still and know that you have God. But we must learn that this verse should not be taken completely out of context. Perhaps one of the most loved verses, yet the most misunderstood and misapplied in the entire Scripture. Fundamentally, one reason why I felt that the Bible can sometimes become quite complicated and overwhelming. The verse is not meant as a blanket promise of worldly blessing. It is a perfect example of a prophecy where we first need to understand who God is talking to. As I try to learn and fully get the picture of what the scripture says, I am comforted that this passage is not directed to me alone – it’s for the entire nation.

In Psalm 119:11 “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” Presumably a good proclamation how my journey began to ignite. Even if my heart has been wounded and afflicted in so many ways, I will forever treasure God’s words in this chamber that’s made to last. Bear in mind that knowing God’s word is not just for the sake of doing it. The living word is active in the lives of those who receive it. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only. If we keep the Word of God in our hearts, we build a safekeeping vault of powerful weapons to defend against temptations, the flesh and the world. I understand that it takes time and prayerful attention to observe correct biblical interpretation and application. And I know my journey has just started so I always ask and pray to God to teach and guide me so that I will become even more faithful in following Him. It’s a long way to go. I know I am still making my way through the Scripture. But here and now, I’m glad that I didn’t close doors and I kept it open so that others can come with me too. I’m grateful I remained thirsty, patient and willing to discover the grace, salvation, and wisdom that only come from immersing myself in God’s Word. This journey is by far the best journeys I have chosen to take. Please make it yours too.

Matthew 4:4 “For man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out through the mouth of God.”

Faith in God’s Promises

There is intimacy from this disquieting and oppressive thoughts whenever I keep myself within the spaces of this balcony. I stare at the slightest street lights. I dismiss the minimal noise around me. I am blinded by this darkness but I feel like a little child counting the visible stars in awe. Breathing just the right amount of air as a sign of ease. And the rare cold breeze makes its way through my delicate skin. Just like the lack of warmth of normal human emotion I once felt. I am so alone so I have silently drawn the image of God in the vast sky so we can have a moment of intimate conversation.

I chose to talk to God because he’s the God that always listens. He’d never judge. He understands me. Pays attention even to the littlest interesting parts of me. He cares about me, he cares how I feel. He knows what my heart desires and deserves. He makes me feel I am worthy of every chance. And I know he is so proud of me. Even if I don’t deserve all of this because of my countless imperfections. He is the only one who will always stay right next to me. He will never abandon me. He will never permit that I’ll be separated from him. Only God makes me believe that it’s not the end of everything but a start of a beautiful something. There are hopes and promises. No matter what plagues or adversities we face upon. God is also giving. He will not let me choose only one when there’s two beautiful things. He will not let me give one up but cherish them both. Even if the other has indignity as they are both blessings. Anything from God is a blessing so we shouldn’t lose grip on one as well as the other. This gives me hope as high as the endless heavens I am gazing. It’s enough that my hopes are oftentimes high and invisible but He makes it abundant and reachable.

God has likewise sent his angels to save me. These are the people who have made so much effort to stay and always right there for me especially when life turns upside down. Days when I had no one, when I had nothing. When the world was grim and I was filled with fear. Nights when I sporadically wake up from bed gasping because I have dreamt of another sudden tragic occurrence or extreme misfortune but I have nobody to call. Those gloomy and rainy days and I began hearing loud rumbling with sudden bolt of the heavens that always leaves me shaking like a leaf. When I was feeling disturbed with uncertainty and mentally troubled about what is happening or what might happen. When I was suffocating from the inside and felt it’s the end of me.

He reminded me that there are people willing to help as long as I’m willing to accept them. Even if I’m not that person they knew I was. I only need to open my eyes and ears. People who did not pay more attention to others’ opinions but on the covenant and fellowship that we have established. So I should stop keeping things to myself and let my head be free from anguish. They’ve been patiently waiting to hear from me, patiently waiting to help me while I’m at the verge of disowning myself. That I need not to do this on my own because I have them since the beginning. I should take time to look at my surroundings. To slow down and pause for a moment, notice that there are eager people around me. Willing to stay and listen without second thoughts and skepticism, come what may. Willing to move mountains. Even willing to carry this oppressive and worrisome weight that I’ve been self-absorbing. Willing to change my fears and anxiety to calmness and bravery.

Forgive me, Father. For once, twice or maybe most of my life, I missed to pray. For many times I forgot to call your name. I’m on my knees earnestly asking you to redeem me. Even if I am not worthy to receive you. I’m sorry as I’ve been so detached and distrustful to your promises because I was affected by my own grievances. I was eaten and weakened by my worries and fears. I have ignored people who have been so determined to listen and endure something difficult for me. Yet I was so unwilling to discern and be persuaded. I want to reconcile and make amends for my lack of consideration and transgressions. I will make sure to give you and your angels the greatest concern in return. I will open my doors to chances I didn’t embrace and will make our relationships better. I will reach out and start apologising for being too guarded and too frightened of those favourable consequences. I will have nothing but pure and enduring faith in your promises.

Please take my hand because I will walk with you from this day on. I will stop counting myself to be apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I will open my ears and fill my soul with your spoken words. My eyes shall be opened not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. Seek for your grace and draw myself near not through physical influence but through faith so I may receive mercy and may find grace to help in times of need. I will see your hands in all of your works and in all of those you have made in your image. Because in your mercy, you drive away my fears. In your love, you wipe away my tears.